I’ve told myself countless time it won’t happen.
Yet, I’ve also told myself countless times miracles do happen.
I do stand a chance.
No, I don’t.
Yes, I do.
Struggling everyday to find a conclusion, when will I be able to find it?
I do believe, deep down in my heart, that it won’t happen.
But I can’t erase those memories that proved you wrong.
That has proven to you everything is possible, no matter how unbelievable it is.
Then again, every time you don’t look, every time you just walked pass, every time I don’t see you, I came to a conclusion again it is not possible.
Yes, it is not.
But I just need that one, little, tiny moment with you to destroy the barrier I’ve put between me and you.
Now, I have to struggle to put it back.
Sometimes I wonder if you feel the same way as I do.
Sometimes I wonder what are you thinking when you looked at me.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s fate or coincidence.
Sometimes I wonder if you know my name.
Sometimes I wonder if you know my friends.
Sometimes I wonder if you know that I’m actually rotting in school.
Sometimes I wonder if you know how awkward I feel, how lousy I feel.
Or… maybe, every time, every moment I struggled with myself, you don’t even think about me.
I know you’re not that kind of person.
Should I be glad, or sad?